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Troubled Marriages
Is you marriage in trouble? Do you know someone whose marriage is in trouble and don't know what to do?
Don't despair. Everyone's marriage goes through rough patches from time to time. We do have some good news however, including:
First of all, this is the right spot! The Twin Cities has plenty of resources available to help rebuild marriages and this website describes many of them! Some are described on this page. Others are described in various places throughout this website. So, after looking through the listings on this page, go to the "Marriage Enrichment" section on this site.
Almost all marriages that go through rough times CAN BE REBUILT!! In fact, a recent study (published in July of 2002 by the Institute of American Values) found that "Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married (to each other) five years later. However, just one out five of unhappy spouses who divorced or separated had happily remarried in the same time period".
So, hang in there, work is necessary to put a marriage back together again.
And it will take work.
Hopefully both spouses are willing to do the work to rebuild their marriage. If both are willing, and both participate in the appropriate programs, the odds of ending up happily married (to each other!) are extremely high. But what if only one wants to work on the marriage and the spouse has given up? Is it hopeless? Not at all. All it means is that someone will have to make the first move, be the first to change. A number of the programs described in this section can be implemented even if only one of the spouses is motivated to save the marriage. Some of the programs were even designed with that thought in mind.
Finding a well qualified marriage counselor, especially a marriage friendly counselor when your relationship is suffering can be downright hazardous. Many marriage counselors lack training and experience in marriage counseling, and many couples experience marriage counseling as lukewarm in supporting life-long commitment. Find a Marriage Friendly Therapists.
More information about Marriage Friendly Therapists.
So, with all that as an introduction, let's take a look at some of the resources that are available to couples who are experiencing significant troubles in their marriages:
Retrouvaille Weekend and Follow-up Program
Retrouvaille is a program designed to help couples who are experiencing difficulties in their marriages heal and renew their own marriage relationship. The process is one of "rediscovery" - of oneself, one's spouse, and a loving relationship in the marriage. The program consists of a full weekend and six or twelve follow-up sessions. The program is offered in English in Twin Cities 15 times year, 12 of these are Catholic and three are Christian Multi-Denominational (CMD). Programs are also offered in St. Cloud and Central Wisconsin. Because of the follow-up sessions, couples from Twin Cities are encouraged to attend a Twin Cities weekend. However, everyone is free to attend a weekend at one of the other locations, and still attend the follow-up sessions in Twin Cities. In addition to the weekends in English, the program is also offered in Spanish. For a more detailed description of Retrouvaille. To be taken to Twin Cities Retrouvaille's website. For information outside of the Twin Cities, go to the International Retrouvaille's website. Below is the current schedule for Retrouvaille weekends in the Twin Cities area, listed in chronological order.
Language
|
Location
|
Dates
|
Expression
|
Contact Phone
|
|
|
2008
|
|
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Jan 4-6
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Feb 1-3
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Feb 29 - Mar 2
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Apr 4-6
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
English
|
Eagan
|
May 9-11
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Jun 20- 22
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Aug 1-3
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Sep 5-7
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
Spanish
|
Frontenac
|
Sep 26-28
|
Catholic
|
651-665-1783
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Oct 24-26
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
English
|
Eagan
|
Dec 5-7
|
Catholic
|
651-464-5855
|
The Divorce Remedy - The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage, by Michele Weiner-Davis
In her book, "The Divorce Remedy", Weiner Davis has created a seven-step program anyone can follow to revitalize even the most damaged marriage. Weiner Davis will offers down-to-earth, psychobabble-free guidance and encouragement every step of the way. She identifies specific marriage-saving goals, move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting, and become an expert on "doing what works". Inspirational anecdotes and in-depth case studies show how couples have used these techniques to save their marriages, and how anyone can use these same techniques to rescue theirs.
Weiner Davis also offers solution-oriented strategies for readers to cope with infidelity, Internet obsessions, depression, sexual problems, and midlife crises. Think your spouse already has a foot out the door, this proven program is a recipe for change, even if only one participates. Practical and empowering, "The Divorce Remedy" is the road map everyone needs to get their marriage back on track - and keep it there.
Published in 2001; available from most on-line and retail booksellers. (Note - above description transcribed from inside cover of the book.)
www.DivorceBusting.com - Michele Weiner-Davis' divorce-busting web site
Michele Weiner Davis is a world renowned marriage-restoration expert. Here is a sample of some of the things available on her web site:
Read some of Michele's articles. For a troubled marriage, these are MUST READS! And, they're free! (Isn't the internet wonderful?) Sample titles include "The walkaway wife syndrome", "Healing from infidelity", "Choosing a Marital Therapist" and "Should couples stay together for the sake of the kids?".
An opportunity to sample Michele's books. Excerpts from several of Weiner Davis' books are available online, including the first chapter of the book referenced above, "The Divorce Remedy" (highly recommended);
Recent success stories - true life reports of people who have recently restored their marriages;
The Message Board - You're not alone! See what others are going through; watch as fellow journeyers offer their advice. A place to ask for advice.
Schedule a telephone consultation with a "Divorce Busting relationship coach" (there is a fee for this service).
This web site is full of ideas on how to strengthen marriages. It is operated by Dr. Willard Harley, who is the author of the best-seller "His Needs, Her Needs" and whose ideas have saved literally thousands of marriages. There is a ton of information on this site, so wade in slowly. First step - take the "Site Tour" to get an overview of what is available on the site. After that, click on "Basic Concepts" to get an understanding of the underlying concepts of Dr. Harley's approach.
Choosing Wisely - Before You Divorce
Considering divorce? Spouse considering divorce?
This may be the biggest decision of one's life, that will affect them for years to come. Don't let the emotional intensity of a marriage crisis drive the decision. Before deciding whether to divorce or stay together, everyone needs information-LOTS of information.
Before You Divorce will help one step back from the emotional turmoil and take an objective view of how divorce that will affect their life in several different areas:
Emotional
Physical
Financial
Legal
Children and family
Spiritual
It is essential that everyone have this information before making the decision.
The Before You Divorce kit includes 5 video sessions, 2 workbooks and a Facilitators Guide, packaged in an attractive library case.
Each video session is produced in an interesting television magazine format. The sessions include interviews with top experts and real-life stories of people who have experienced divorce. The Before You Divorce workbook includes a section for taking notes while viewing each video, and a daily devotional and a journal section. The total cost for the entire kit is only $60, a small investment to make before making such a life-changing decision.
These tapes will be helpful if one's current status falls in one of these categories:
Still married but having major problems. Either or both spouses may have already talked about separation or divorce.
Still living together but have separated emotionally.
Separated physically but are still married. Either or both spouses may be involved in a relationship with another person.
Already divorced but have not remarried. Again, either or both spouses may have already become involved in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with another person.
For more information about Before You Divorce visit, www.BeforeYouDivorce.com and www.DivorceCare.com.
To order the material, call 1-800-489-7778.